If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
