This is not my ceiling
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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