we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
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I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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