the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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