so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
