***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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