Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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