I just pynch a tree in the face
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
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Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
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You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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