My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
