i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Enjoy the penises
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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