This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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