I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
