The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
