New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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