At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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