Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
