We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Randomize
