alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
