You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
