Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
