I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
