i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Everyone says I win the strip club
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
