I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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