So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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