Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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