my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
