sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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