Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
