So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
