I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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