im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize