Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
