A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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