talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
one two three fourrrrnication!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
