how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
