so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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