woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
