There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
