apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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