I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
