I think im going to throw up on grandma
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize