I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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