There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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