Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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