Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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