Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
