just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
