I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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