More tranny stories later!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
