VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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