ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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