I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize