I think I died a long time ago.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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