1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
