Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me

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(407): View more from Florida

It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.

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(407): View more from Florida

I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.

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(773): View more from Illinois

he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.

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(904): View more from Florida

Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.

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(718): View more from New York

I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!

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(206): View more from Washington

The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?

(206): View more from Washington

...You'll thank me later.

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