Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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