You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
