Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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