You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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