Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
