So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sex in the backyard? Check.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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