I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
