Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
