Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
